Hot! Vince Young Demands Trade to University of Texas Longhorns

Embattled and mercurial Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young, who recently demanded Titans management either install him as the team’s starting QB or trade him, was informed yesterday that incumbent Kerry Collins would keep the starting job.

In response, Young has made good on his threat and has asked Titans general manager Mike Reinfeldt to trade him. Young even specified which team he wants to play for: The University of Texas Longhorns.

“I had a lot of success with Texas,” Young explained. “I won a championship pretty-much by myself. I want to go back. I told Mike to make that happen.”

Young, who met with reporters at his locker during this week’s mandatory summer minicamp, refused to believe that he couldn’t be traded to the Longhorns because they are a collegiate team.

“Why not?” Young asked, dumbfounded. “Didn’t they trade me to the Titans in the first place?”

“No, you were drafted by the Titans,” said one reporter, to which Young replied, “What’s the difference?”

“Besides, they told me they want me back,” Young said, with a look of great satisfaction on his face.

As it turns out, Young’s last point is, in fact, true.  The University of Texas, unable to win a championship since Young’s final season with the team, is preparing an offer, which Texas President William Powers Jr. revealed will include a dorm on campus with his own bathroom, free meals at any university cafeteria, and guaranteed passing grades in every class.

When asked whether this offer was different from those the school offers to any incoming scholastic athlete, Powers Jr. replied, “No, not really.”

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